Why Won't You Love Me?
by ghost-wiring
Summary: Is Rock in love? Or will he push away his childhood friend once more? Can he conquer love once and for all?
1. Part One

Part One

_ Rock,_

_Please meet me at the old main bridge tonight. I need to talk to you._

That was the letter he had found early that morning. It must have been slipped under his doorway sometime during the night. Not a clue was left pointing to who it was from, just that simple note with its two concise sentences written out in a strangely familiar and elegant handwriting.

He asked his father if the letter was from him but he simply grew angry with him and sent him away. He asked around the manor as well but no one had a clue. It was especially strange that the letter had found its way under his door without another soul knowing how it had gotten there. The manor was well protected and breaching security was near impossible. The writing on the small slip of paper appeared feminine. His instinct told him it was probably a hoax, or a trap, but his curiosity got the better of him and he decided to investigate. Besides, he wouldn't go unarmed.

He walked down the busy streets through the breezy night. It was growing late but the streets remained packed with people. The streets were always busy in Metropolis. He could look all around him and never see the same face twice. But as he grew closer to the closed down bridge on the outskirts of town, the flow of people tapered and he soon found himself walking alone. He jumped the barricade and found himself standing on the decaying bridge. It had been long since this bridge was open. It was situated in the slums of Metropolis, an area that the city had outgrown. He looked around cautiously. Whoever had invited him here could not have good intentions. The area was dark, which provided ample opportunity to be robbed or murdered by some low-life crook. He knew this was the area that the criminals dwelled in. Still moving warily, he slowly crossed the bridge.

He came to a halt when he reached the middle of the bridge where a single, flickering lamp lit the area. The only other light came from the hazy glow of the city. He walked to the railing and looked out at the distant Metropolis. Even at this distance, he could still hear the faint sounds of the bustling town. For such a large place it sure was easy to become lonely. Other than his father and the other Marduks, he really knew no one. He had always been a rogue, a lone wolf, an outsider. Because of where he'd come from it was hard for his father to accept him. It was hard for anyone to accept him. But he'd become used to that.

He glanced at his watch impatiently. The note had not said what time he was to be at the bridge. Maybe he had missed them altogether. He certainly hoped not; he didn't feel like facing the fact that he'd come all the way out here for nothing. It was at that moment that he heard it. He had heard a rustling in the distance, like someone moving closer. He placed his hand cautiously near the weapon concealed at his side. He strained his eyes, trying to see beyond the perimeter of the flickering street lamp's light. He looked all around but he could not see anything. Perhaps he had imagined the sound. As he began to let down his guard, he felt someone tap his shoulder. With impeccable speed, he drew the gun holstered at his side and spun around, aiming it directly at his assailant's forehead. Shock dumbfounded him as his eyes met the eyes of the woman standing before him.

"Amaya," he muttered.

She stood there blinking, the barrel of his gun pressed tight to her forehead.

"Put that thing away will you? You're going to put someone's eye out," she said coolly.

He slowly lowered the gun. It suddenly occurred to him. That familiar handwriting, the suspicious letter turning up under his door. Only she could have breached security at the manor and only she would have chosen such a place to meet.

"I should have known it was you," he replied dully.

"You didn't know?" she asked in mock surprise. "It thought even _you _could figure it out."

"How could I have guessed it was you? You've been gone for five years now."

"Do you forget your friend so easily?"

He rolled his eyes and re-holstered his gun. "Well what is it that you dragged me out here to tell me? It better be good because I didn't come all this way for nothing."

"Relax, I haven't seen you in so long," she said, looking him over from head to toe. "Aren't you glad to see me?"

"Not really," he said, crossing his arms and leaning against the railing.

"Oh Rock, why do you treat me so cruelly?" she asked in mock hurt.

"Me treat you cruelly? As I recall, you are the one who vanished without a word said, leaving me here all alone."

"I didn't think you would honestly care," she said, crossing her arms as well.

"You were my friend! Of course I cared!" he shouted. Seeming embarrassed by his display of emotion, he continued, "Though now I sometimes wish we'd never met."

"Why do you say such a thing?" she asked, her voice sounding truly hurt this time.

He said nothing but simply stared at her. She had no idea that the reason he'd treated her so harshly was because he secretly loved her. Ever since they'd met when they were children, he had admired her. They'd both been orphans of the war and they both were loners, a perfect pair. They grew close and went through everything together, thick and thin. Though he'd been fortunate enough to grow up in a wealthy family, Amaya had been rescued by a poorer family. Even this separation of class could not disrupt their friendship. But as he grew older, he became more aware of his love for her. Despite these feelings, he began to push her away. She went on to get mixed in the wrong crowd and he had trained to become his father's guard, but still they saw each other from time to time. But then one day, she was simply gone. Naturally, he was devastated by her disappearance. Not a single soul who had known her knew where she'd gone. He assumed the worse and thought she'd been killed.

So he turned to the only other person he knew in life, his father, Duke Red. He had become his father's right hand man. Even still, his father would not accept him as his own son. No matter how hard he tried or what he accomplished, his father would not see him as a son. He would not accept him as a son but he would keep him as his protector, his trained killer. Still, he loved his father. He was a proud man and after the loss of his only daughter, he was understandably heartbroken. He supposed that was the reason why he resented him so. Having no one else to turn to, he gladly became Duke Red' s lapdog, becoming the most faithful Marduk.

Now she had wandered back into his life again. It was so strange seeing her there, almost like she was a ghost, returning to haunt him. And even after five years of wondering what had become of his love, he could not find the courage to tell her how he really felt. He still had the same fortress built around his fragile heart. His only instinct was to turn her away, to run. He may be the strongest Marduk out there, but he was weak on the inside.

He studied her face carefully. She had changed a lot in the five years she'd been absent. She'd always been tall and thin but her lean figure seemed to have grown painfully frail. Her once vibrant dark-chestnut hair had become limp and dull. Her dark brown eyes, once bright and mysterious, were now tired and somber. More or less, it seemed she'd aged ten years instead of five. This was the look of someone under great stress, he knew. What could have happened to her all these years that had made her seem so tired, so different than she once was.

"Where have you been all this time?" he finally managed to say.

"I've been around. It's not hard to lose yourself in this city."

"That's your only excuse?" he asked, anger in his voice.

"Do you have to know every detail?" she asked.

"No. But I know your capabilities and how easy it is for you to fall into the wrong practices."

She scoffed. "So that's what you're worried about. Well, you'll be happy to know that I didn't get into anything that you wouldn't approve of." She smirked and said, "I assume you're still floundering after Duke Red."

"I'm not floundering," he retorted. "He is my father, you know. It is my duty to protect him."

"He never protected you."

"He saved me!"

"Sure, he saved you alright."

Rock pushed himself away from the bridge railing and shouted, "Do you have something important to tell me or are you just wasting my time?"

She looked at him with her tired, sunken eyes. "You'll never change," she whispered to herself. She looked at the ground, her face sadder than he'd ever seen it. "Actually, I came here to tell you something very important. But now that I see you're the same person you've always been, I don't think it would matter to you if I told you or not." He shrank back, immediately feeling sorry for his outburst. Tears welling in her eyes she finally managed to choke out, "Why can't you just love me?"

Not being able to stand it anymore, she let the hot tears trickle down her face. Embarrassed, she wiped at her wet eyes. "If you can bring yourself to overcome whatever it is that is holding you back, you know where to find me. Mind you, I may not be here for much longer." She then turned and ran away into the darkness.

His heart aching at the sight of her sobbing, retreating figure, he whispered, "Amaya."


	2. Part Two

Part Two

Rock paced back in forth in his room. It had been two days since his encounter with Amaya Uehara. At first, he felt he should run and find her right away. All those questions she had left unanswered were tearing at his mind. But then he thought he might want to consider all she'd said first. She was one to play mind games and she was good at it. A dramatic reaction from him might be just what she was expecting. Still, surely she wouldn't come find him out of the blue after five years just to trick him. There had to be something she wanted to tell him.

She'd said _you'll know where to find me_ but in all truth he really had no clue where she could be. After much consideration, he supposed she'd returned to her parents' home. She could find a home wherever she went but he knew none of them. The only place he'd ever known of her living in was her parents' and that's where he found himself walking that night.

He had to cross the gate into Zone-1 to reach her parents' house. Zone-1, an entirely underground area, housed all of Metropolis' underclass citizens. A great host of robots dwelled here as well. This was a place he liked to avoid at all costs but the mission at hand was more important than his petty indifferences. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shoved along through the crowded streets.

The people that he passed all looked at him curiously. They all seemed to know who he was. It was easy for an entire city to know Duke Red's guard. This was another thing that bothered him about Metropolis. The whole population might know who he was but he barely knew any of the population. He wore the mark of the Marduk around his arm, setting him apart even more. Some people gave him hostile looks, others simply avoided him.

At last he came upon the neighborhood he remembered belonging to her. He'd only been there a few times; usually when they saw each other it was on the surface. He was surprised he still remembered the path to her home. But then again, how could he forget the way to his love's dwelling place. It was one of many things he kept locked away in his memory.

As he came upon her house, a shabby looking home lined up with others just like it, he climbed the porch. He hoped her parents still lived there. It had been several years since he'd visited. He also hoped her parents remembered him. He was sure that a surprise visit by a Marduk was unpleasant in this neck of the woods.

Swallowing the anxiety that had built up in his chest, he knocked on the wooden door. There was silence in the house momentarily but was soon interrupted by approaching footsteps. The door swung open and there stood Amaya's mother, Urumi. She looked exactly as he'd remembered her, her long, dusty-blonde hair tied up loosely, her jovial pale blue eyes and her constantly merry face, always blushing a faint shade of red. She gave him a long hard look as if uncertain he was really there. "Rock?" she said.

"Yes, Mrs. Uehara," he answered politely.

She laughed rather loudly and said, "My goodness, you've grown since I last saw you!" He smiled nervously, unsure of what to say. "What brings you around?"

"Well, actually, I'm here to see Amaya."

Her face saddened a little. "Yes, of course," she said. "Come in." He walked inside the tiny house, following Mrs. Uehara. As she led him up a creaky stairway, she said quietly, "It's a miracle, her coming home. I was so glad. I thought for sure she…" she said, trailing off.

"Yes, me too." Rock answered.

"I was angry of course that she'd run off like that without telling us where she was going but when I saw her back here safe and sound all my anger vanished. I'm just glad she made it back."

There was something strange about the way she said that. It made Rock uneasy. _I'm just glad she made it back_…it echoed in his brain. It sounded as if something almost prevented her from coming home.

They reached the door to her room and stopped. Mrs. Uehara knocked on the door and said, "Amaya, you have a visitor here to see you." Mrs. Uehara opened the door and whispered to him, "Go on in."

He walked into the dark room. She was lying in bed, looking at the ceiling. A lamp was the only source of light in the room. It cast across her face making her look otherworldly. "I'm surprised you came," she said in a hollow voice.

He stood by her bed and looked down at her. Her eyes remained on the ceiling. "You thought that I wouldn't?" he asked. She said nothing. He sighed deeply and knelt beside her bed. "I know that you think I don't care about you, and you have a good reason to, but the truth is that I do care. I value you more than anything else."

At last, she looked to him. "Do you think that's going to make everything better?"

"What do you want from me?" he shouted. "Do you want me to tell you how much of a loser I am, that I am sorry and no good. Remember, you are the one that walked out on me!"

She sat up in bed and looked at him furiously. "Do you want to know the reason I ran away, Rock? Well, brace yourself because here comes the truth. I ran away because no matter how hard I tried, I could make you love me. I've loved you since we were mere children and I thought that you loved me too. But the older we got, the more you pushed me away. I kept trying to get closer to you, to get things back to the way they used to be, but the harder I tried, the harder you pushed me away. Finally, I could not take it anymore. I thought that if you would not love me, then I would just leave and start over and try to put you from my mind. I hid in Zone-2, working jobs that most people would rather die than take on. I left my family and all my friends just to try to forget you. But obviously that didn't happen." She stopped talking to catch her breath. Her breathing was ragged and tears were welling in her eyes again. "So there it is. Does the truth scare you, Rock?"

It was all so clear to him now. Finally, the source of years of hurt and anguish was revealed. And he could understand why. He'd hurt her more than she'd ever hurt him so she ran. He turned his head away. "It does," he said, barely above a whisper. "But not your truth, mine."

She looked at him curiously. When he turned to face her again, his eyes were troubled and saddened. "You've always held the keys to my heart," he said, "but I was always afraid to tell you that." He exhaled, his breath coming out harshly. "Not anymore though. I love you, Amaya." He moved in close and kissed her. He caressed her hair as he kissed her long and passionately, the very thing he'd wanted to do for so long. They remained in their passionate embrace until Amaya abruptly jerked away. "What is it?" he asked.

She got out of bed and walked to the opposite side of the room, turning her back to him. He got off his knees and walked over beside her, touching her back gently. Her frail body was heaving with sobs as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "What's the matter?" he asked again.

"The other night, I said I had something important to tell you. Don't you wonder why I came back after all this time?"

The air caught up in his chest. He had a feeling what she had to tell him wasn't going to be pleasant. "Why?" he said simply.

"I'm sick Rock," was all she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.

"I'm sick!" she repeated, sounding frustrated. "Very sick. The doctors don't expect I'll live much longer."

He couldn't breath. That's why her appearance had changed so. Even tonight she looked worlds worse than she had the night before. "Why?" he repeated again, his voice cracking.

"I don't know. It must be something I contracted in Zone-2."

"No," he said, shaking his head. He began to cry.

She wrapped her thin arms around him and pressed her head against his chest. "That's why I came back. I wanted to see you one last time before I…"

He couldn't manage to speak. He just stood there holding her, their tears mingling. He'd finally told her how he felt and now it was too late. "You won't leave me, will you?" she asked, her troubled, tear-ridden eyes staring up at him.

"No, I will never leave you," he said, holding her even tightly. But the sad truth was that no matter how hard he held onto her now, she would still leave him behind, yet again and this time she would not come back.


	3. Part Three

Part Three

He sat on the porch outside her house. He'd been there for some time now; Mrs. Uehara was upstairs with Amaya, helping to bathe her. She was bed ridden now—she'd been confined to her room since a few days after she broke the news to him. It seemed like she'd waited till he heard her news before collapsing and now her downward spiral had begun. She wouldn't eat anything and she was becoming weaker every day. It pained him to watch her suffer yet he returned every day.

He sat, his head buried in his hands, gently massaging his temples. He'd yelled at his father the night before. It was the first time he'd ever challenged him. His father had asked where he was slipping off to so often. He at first refused to tell him but after his father's prying he at last exploded into an angry confession of his love for the common girl that was withering away down in Zone-1. It only angered his father, Duke Red, but he didn't care. For the first time in his life he didn't care what his father thought.

The stress of the situation he found himself faced with was gradually wearing him down. He couldn't sleep, he barely ate and all he could think of was Amaya. He would sit by her side day and night if her mother didn't insist he get some rest. He often found his body shaking from a mixture of nerves and fear. It was even like this at that moment when Mrs. Uehara came onto the porch, gently touching his shoulder. He jumped in surprise and turned to look at her.

"Sorry dear," she said, a weary smile on her face. The stress was visually evident in her as well, her expression constantly tired and her eyes always worried. She forced a cup of tea into his hand and took a seat beside him on the porch step. "Drink that, it will help calm your nerves."

He did as he was told and took a sip of the warm, aromatic tea. "Is she sleeping?" he asked.

She nodded and answered, "It seems like that's all she does now." A moment of reflective silence passed between them before she continued saying, "I want to thank you for coming down here to see her. You mean the world to her, you know."

"I know. And she means the world to me," he said.

She smiled, blinking back tears. "I just wish she wouldn't have run off like that. She might still be well today if she…" She couldn't hold it back anymore, letting the tears roll down her face.

Rock set his mug down and wrapped his arms around Mrs. Uehara. "You have to stay strong. She loves you and she needs you there for her," he said, his voice sounding choked.

"I know," she kept repeating. They pulled apart and she sniffled, saying, "You're a good boy, Rock."

He managed a smile. "Thank you, ma'am." He stood up and said, "I'm going to go up and sit with her a while, if that's alright."

"Sure, it's fine. Go ahead," she replied.

He thanked her for the tea and proceeded inside the house and up the stairs to Amaya's room. He entered into the darkened room and closed the door gently behind him. Mrs. Uehara had placed a chair beside her bed for him and he took a seat. He looked at her motionless body, her eyes shut and her mouth opened slightly, slow, ragged breaths escaping her lips. Her eyes fluttered open as he sat down and she managed a weak smile.

"Hey, Rock," she said, her voice weak and barely above a whisper.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Wonderful," she said, still smiling. He couldn't laugh at her blatant joke and merely looked at the floor. "Don't worry so much. You look like you haven't slept in days."

It was the truth, he really hadn't slept much over the past few nights, but he answered, "I'm fine."

She frowned but ignored his obvious lies and said, "Come here and sit on the bed. I'm not contagious." He stood from his chair and took a seat beside her on the bed. Her bony hand slithered out from under the bed sheet and came to a rest lovingly on his thigh. "You know, I'm serious when I say you shouldn't worry so much. I'll still be here tomorrow."

He toughed back a sob. He didn't know if she was trying to be comforting or if she was just delusional but either way it wasn't helping. He couldn't find anything to say to her when she talked like this. He was always afraid he would start crying in front of her and he was the last thing she needed to worry about. He lay back on the bed beside her. She gently stroked his hair. "I want you to promise me something," she said.

He looked into her eyes. "Anything," he answered.

"When I go, I want you to look after my mother. Just check up on her every once in a while. She does fine on her own but I'm the only person she has left and…" she broke off, her voice sounding choked with tears.

"I will," he interrupted.

She smiled and her eyes drifted shut. "I love you, Rock," she said weakly. He didn't even have time to reply before she was fast asleep. He kissed her on the forehead and gently got out of her bed so as not to wake her.

He walked over to the only window in the room and looked out. The artificial light was setting meaning the sun was going down on the surface. He supposed he should get back home since he'd been gone since the night before. He sighed remembering the promise he'd made to her. It scared him to death when he thought of her saying the words _when I go_ but it was the truth and he was going to have to face it before long. He would keep that promise, unquestionably. Mrs. Uehara had always been dear to him and almost like a mother. He just hoped that time wouldn't come too soon.

He left the window and advanced towards the door. As he grasped the doorknob, he turned back. Looking at her sleeping form beneath the mound of bed covers, he whispered, "I love you too, Amaya." He opened the door and slipped out quietly, heading for home.


End file.
